Enjoying Relations

We are all sexual — from birth to death. When we decide to have closer contacts, we want it to be satisfying — whether we are women, men, married or single, young or old, straight, lesbian or gay. Enjoying our sexuality is a normal, natural part of life.

Most of us have taken risks when we have had intimate contacts — risks that include getting sexually transmitted infections/diseases (STIs/STDs). We take so many risks that up to one out of two of us gets an infection some time in our lives.

The risks we take can be dangerous. Many sexually transmitted infections can

•        last a lifetime
•        put stress on relationships
•        cause sterility
•        cause birth defects
•        lead to major illness and death

We know that safer intimate contacts reduces our risks. But many of us don't make the effort, because we think safer relations will be less satisfying. It does not have to be - it is about protection and pleasure.

Exploring safer contacts can make relations more satisfying. It can

•        improve partner communication
•        increase intimacy and trust
•        prolong intimate play
•        enhance orgasm
•        add variety to pleasure
•        relieve anxiety
•        strengthen relationships

What is Safer SEX?

Safer is anything we do to lower our risk of getting a STIs/STDs. It's about getting more pleasure with less risk. Three Steps to Safer Contacts

	Become honest with ourselves about the risks we take.
	Decide which risks we are willing to take — and which ones we aren't willing to take.
	Find ways to make our play as safe and satisfying as possible.

The most important ways to reduce your risk are

	Keep your partner's body fluids out of your body — vagina, anus, or mouth. The body — fluids to be most careful about are blood, cum, pre-cum, vaginal fluids, and the discharge from sores caused by STIs.
	Don't touch sores or growths that are caused by STIs.

Safer also means protecting your partner.

	Don't allow your body fluids to get into your partner's body.
	Don't have sexual contacts if you have sores or other symptoms of infection.
	Have routine checkups for infections.
	Get the correct treatment if you become infected.

Your Relationships

Is It Safe to Have  Contacts with Only One Partner?

Maybe. The ideal for many people is to have only one partner. Women and men don't need to worry about getting HIV/AIDS and STIs/STDs

•        if neither partner ever had contacts with anyone else
•        if neither partner ever shared needles
•        if neither partner currently has or ever had an infection

Most of us have more than one partner during our lives. We may not plan it that way, but it happens. We may also get an infection from one partner and carry it to another. The partners who gave it to us

•        may not have known they had an infection
•        may have hoped they wouldn't pass the infection to us
•        may not have been totally honest about their history

Some infections, like HIV, may take years to develop symptoms. You may not even know they are there. Visit your local Planned Parenthood center or health care provider to get yourself checked out for STIs/STDs.

"I always hoped that someday I'd be able to share my life and enjoy relations with only one special partner. In the meantime, I insisted on safer contacts with the partners I had. Now that I've found my partner for life, I'm really glad I played it safe." — a 27-year-old African-American man

Trust

Many of us know how it feels to discover that a partner has been dishonest with us. More than one out of three people will lie about their feelings and actions. A similar number will lie about their history. The same number will lie about whether or not they have HIV!

When it comes to safer contacts, rely on yourself. Believing you are your partner's only partner will not make it true. Think it over.

How Infections Get Passed Along - read in following page.